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Loading ...Want to know the truth? I love Brandon’s gift icons on WhatsYourPrice.com.
I love symbolism, poetry, passion and chemistry, and I think these “optional gifts” express some of that. I also love little things that make my life easier, especially if someone does them without me having to ask. Little things such as “taking out the trash” or “stopping by the store to grab me fresh squeezed juice” are just a couple of those things that could be taken for granted by most, but mean a whole lot to me. You can’t get there if you don’t start somewhere. Even though you may never know what the chemistry will be when you first meet someone until you actually meet them, there are some things that are proven to increase the likelihood of there being any at all.
For this blog post, I decided to do a little research about paying for dates. More specifically, looking into the cost of a date and its correlation with the participants’ expectations of having sex. Fortunately for me, there were quite a number of studies into this exact topic. One was about matchmaking businesses, where men paid anywhere from $20,000 and up to go on a date with a woman. Another study was conducted in a college setting to study certain behaviors: who paid the bill; who split the bill; and the cost of bill were investigated.
Here’s an interesting quote from an article in the UK’s MailOnline:
“She has spent hours on her hair and makeup, bought a new outfit and done her nails. So perhaps it is only fair that her date should pay for dinner.
Pretty women are less likely than plain Janes to offer to contribute towards the bill on a first date, research shows.
But they are not worried about the expense – it is likely to be because they believe their date should pay for the pleasure of being with them, according to researchers at St Andrews University.”
I have found most of the comments related to this topic agree that the person who set up the date should pay, and that if the bill was split then it was not a date. And if the woman offered to split the bill or pay, it means she was not interested. I would agree with this, because when I decide I have had enough of a relationship, I will often initiate the ‘last’ date and I will pay the entire bill. It’s as if I’m saying “thanks it been fun” and “happy birthday” all at once. If a man asks me out and expects me to pay for or split the bill, (unless agreed to for some reason) I will not go out with him again. That is just the way it is. I will however, make him dinner, buy all the groceries for that and treat him to the best meal ever without thinking twice about it. (Of course this has a tendency to spoil them and they keep coming back.)
I found yet another recent study about dating. More specifically, this one is about the cost of the date and its correlation to the sense of obligation regarding sex. No matter how politically incorrect this question may be, I am sure many men would like to know exactly how much they need to pay to oblige their date to have sex with them! However, this is a serious question – at what point does it feel obligatory for the woman?
The study was done with some college students who were given several scenarios. While women do not feel that being treated to an expensive dinner means they are obligated to have sex with their date, the sense of obligation increases with the price of the date. The students were given a scenario where the date was very expensive and asked a series of questions, and then given the same scenario where the date was very cheap and asked the same questions. The study also took into consideration whether the bill was split or shared.
The average response by male participants to the question that asked if Kate should have expected to have sex with John when he paid for the very expensive date was about 50%. The female participants’ response to that same question was 30%. Whether or not men should feel ‘entitled’ to sex was closer to equal. The results show that if a man paid for the very expensive date, the study shows men thought women owed access to sex at the end of the night for the very expensive date and to some degree both men and women thought he should have expected it.
Integrating a few more questions showed that women felt more obligated as the price of the date went up. Just to be clear though, no one in the study felt anyone had the right to claim sex under any circumstances, regardless of the price of the date. I found this study to be very interesting and noteworthy especially when you think about how men and women set expectations and how they behave in a dating scenario.
So what happens when a matchmaker is involved? Some people are willing to pay $20,000 or more to a Millionaire Matchmaker to help match them up on a date with the right person. Even though a man may pay upwards of $20,000 for such services, he would not and could not expect sex on such a date. I bring this up because it shows that sex, love and money can be entwined in ways you would not expect.
On WhatsYourPrice.com, the system of filling out a profile accurately for both parties is the key to getting on the same page with someone from the start. Getting details, reading profiles and actually asking yourself some questions about what you are looking for will give you a much higher degree of success and in creating the chemistry that could lead to bigger and better things. If you are clear with yourself you are more likely to communicate that in an email or two and end up on a really great date!
In summary, the sense of obligation and expectation is clear but not obligatory! Money does matter, who pays does matter, attractiveness is a factor, but none of these is the final word on what happens during and after the date.
NOTE: And let’s not forget that on WhatsYourPrice.com, the generous member is actually paying for the chance to have a first date with the attractive member. Sex should therefore never be expected or implied in the amount offered, period.
Q: How can you change your profile to get the date you want?
Q: What etiquette has brought you the best dates?
Source: *Basow, Susan and Alexandra Minieri (2011). “You Owe Me”: Effects of Date Cost, Who Pays, Participant Gender, and Rape Myth Beliefs on Perceptions of Rape.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence vol (26): pp 497-497.
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This is a very interesting write up. I like the concept of this site, basically because my time is precious and I have wasted it on some ‘loser faces’. lol This helps cut down on time lost with a (not so good) date.
Being PAID for a date… that’s a little hard for me to swallow, but I’m willing to try
I’m certainly not in it for the money… I’ve been on dating sites since 09. I’m seeking my soulmate. I found this site through the founders recommendation and since I trust (S’s) opinion, here I am!
Good luck and good fortune to everyone on this site. May Yours and My endeavors be successful!
Princess Kimberly
I’m wondering how many “fake” women profiles are on this site. I’ve noticed some women that all seem to have professional type of photos and no regular day to day photos of themselves. Their location will also change from NYC to LA or between other cities and switch up.
This is leading me to believe they are fake profiles, maybe made by the people that run this site, to get people in different cities to sign up and contact these supposed Attractive Females.
Anyone else notice strange things on here?
I noticed this as well…actually talked to the lady in question that I figured was fake. She sent a 400 dollar offer and I was like sure not like she’s real…then I got a message from her and we texted and talked a bit on the phone. Even sent me some day to day pictures of herself. Needless to say she was out of my price range…and if you actually do talk to a suspected fake, request a picture from there cell. I know you ladies hate it because you probably can’t photo shop it but if I’m meeting with you I don’t want to expect the photo shopped version to be at the restaurant. Another interesting thing I found is there is a wide range of fake profiles set up by people in other countries so far mainly the philipines but a few from the Ukraine. Usually they say they live in some random podunk town, USA, but if you look under the date they logged in it will tell you what country…ran into one that supposedly lives in the US but logs in from the Phillipines just a few minutes ago. So pay attention to profiles, and always always always ask for a picture from their phone, and since your paying feel free to cancel at any time when things seem to be sketchy.
Good tips, Tyler. I’ve noticed on my phone that it notes the date and location where a person logged in from but when I look on the computer it doesn’t say that. Not sure why but I’ll keep checking on my phone to see where they are logging in from.
Could just be your web browser you use isn’t allowing it to pop up. Also another thing to look at is the woman’s use of english. If its horrible I stay away because chances are they’re not very educated or a fake philipino/russian profile thats going to link you into a mail order bride service. And it sucks because it takes your money to even get that far into it. So stay away from anything that raises red flags…there are some models on this site as Blue has pointed out so best case scenario is if everything checks out on their profile and you think its worth using your credits on finding out then go for it. Also stay away from profiles that have ten words on them, I’ve found those girls are a recipe for disaster on a date.
What women are giving out their pix and cell numbers to random guys on the internet?
Guys have never had a problem with this. I assume that if they want that they are just picture collectors or fakes themselves. I understand your concern but the internet is full of all kinds. I find the best thing to do is meet at a coffee shop briefly and then if you feel comfortable with someone you can exchange what you feel comfortable with. Many guys here are good guys but just players or posers so it’s lot we have to go through as well to make sure you are who you say you are. Considering I have not heard of a female serial killer stalking men on the internet, I’d say the ball has to remain in our court on this one guys.
Anyone man ever had his picture stolen and displayed on the internet? I have had and I had to fight it threaten them with law suits and still see my old pix on sites all around the world. No one responds and they are almost impossible to ever get removed.
Well Blue I never thought of that…I guess I’d be alright with the idea of meeting up quickly for coffee with a girl if it was clear to them it was to make sure things were on the level for both parties. Meaning its not the date so the money will not be exchanged. So I think that is a good alternative that works just as good if the girl is ok and clear on that. Sucks to hear about what you’ve been through so hearing that side of the story does point some things out that I never thought of lol like picture collectors. I usually ask for a picture just because of past experiences on dating websites where the girl used her “friends” picture, because she wanted the guy to like her for what she is like and not her looks. And I’m always like well your starting out on the wrong foot by lying and misleading me right off the bat…and honestly walked out on several dates just because of that. But if a quick meet and greet to meet each other and solidify the date I’d be cool with that as well.
I should be more clear. I don’t intend to get all dressed up twice for someone. It only takes two seconds to see I’m the woman in the pic.
This is a new concept so I may have confused some of what I was saying above. On Seeking Arrangement I will meet for a drink or at a coffee shop rather than dinner to discuss since I am giving my time away for free rather than spend all evening as his date because guys have done that to me before who had no intention of making arrangements. They want arm candy and a chance to go to bed with a model. If he is serious about an arrangement and shows that with some good faith money.
So far I have not had any problems with anyone here. The few guys I have met have all been great.
If you don’t believe the women is the one in the pic why do you waste her time and yours sitting down with her only to walk out? You are misleading her. You have the opportunity to make that choice before starting your date. If you decide to sit down than you should follow through and pay according to the agreement.
I would be devastated if some guy walked out on me like that.
I agree with Blue. Not only is it rude, it is a form of ‘grandstanding’ and kind of mean. Try to be the one who is taking the high road because it will serve you across all areas of life. Sometimes dating can be frustrating, but remember acts of kindness are better for your mental health in the long run and you are dealing with humans who make mistakes all the time.
Well Blue when it happened to me I’m pretty sure she could tell from my facial reaction. And basically ended it after telling her how messed up it was to be misleading. What gets me is if a girl says they’re doing that to get you to like them without knowing what they look like…its like ok but your a liar now. I don’t know the things you girls do sometimes…but blue just so you know I liked what you said about your reasoning behind using the pro pictures. Haha we’ve butted heads a few times on previous blogs but you come off as a pretty classy girl so I got respect for you in that regard.
Thanks Tyler!!
I guess you didn’t understand what I said. I walked out on a few that were not the girl in that they said they were. So in other words she wasted my time by lying about who she was, I mislead nobody, she did. If a girl is fake and using fake pictures and I meet her and she isn’t who I was expecting there is no way I’m paying her. It all comes down to being trustworthy, if a girl can’t be honest about something as simple as her picture then I’m definitely not going to be a gentlemen and keep my word. Maybe you think the man should have to pay the girl no matter what even if the girl lied?
I’m not saying you lie or anything, and the fake girls I’ve ran into haven’t been from this site. However, if I did run into someone fake they will not recieve the money, because of being a liar. And the few times that has happened I thought the girl in the profile pic was who I was meeting come to find out who I met weighed three times more. I guess the point I’m making is if a girl is fake she doesn’t deserve the agreed upon amount period. She already mislead the man so that right there ends the date, us guys have rights in the dating game as well its not all about the girl getting everything.
Yeah I was tired and bug eyed when I wrote that.
You have the right to say you are not interested in anyone. No sense in two people sitting around uncomfortable on a date and you shouldn’t be misled about the photo. I agree with you there.
I’m still confused though about if you meet a woman and you see she’s not the woman in the pic, at what point do you let her know you are not interested? Right away or in the middle of dinner?
All I’m saying is the gentlemanly thing to do is clear this up as soon as possible. Hope that makes more sense.
Tyler, yes, it is true, but again, I hope you did it with kindness and compassion. Obviously the woman is not comfortable with herself, but that is no reason to think she can ‘trick’ you into an obligation. Fair is fair. Explaining it might help.
Tyler
Funny thing but your comment really caught my eye…and my heart
See, after a very abusive marriage , i dated the most generous and caring man that absolutely FLOORED me with his caring ways and generosity beyond all comprehension without any strings attached whatsoever!!! At first i was comprehensive about it but when i saw the way interacted with my kids without me being around to see and always made sure their field trips and extra activites were paid for…we went on luxury vacations, was in the most expensive country clubs and day clubs and he gave the kids free access without a word they knew it was fine to charge whatever they wanted…(there dad would have beat em blue!)
What im sayin is this: SOME MEN are just born that way, naturally generous to a fault. They are taught that women are a precious jewel and it pleases them to treat them fine.
After being abused for 10 long years it was a breath of fresh air to have such a sweet person in my life. YES, TYLER some of these men do exist. They are real. And gues what? I didnt even have a pix on here and got several offers..even though the site wont let me reply. Same w every site im on. What im sayin is, its what you SAY , not what you look like to some men…..
I would have to agree with you Shared… it really is what you say and less what you look like. I have many levels of interest on the dating sites that I visit for my profession and I never show my face, ever. I have gone on dates and forgotten they did not know what my face looks like or my real name… oops! We had fun and I have made wonderful connections. What you say should be heartfelt and alluring!
I would guess and consider that some of these women may be traveling. If I was looking for a date in a place I was visiting or traveling to I would want to come up in the searches of members who are looking for someone in their area. There is not a write-board to post where you will be when, so changing your profile location seems like a good option.
I don’t know. Mine is real and my photos are day to day
I do that. Professional pix bring out your best and don’t scream ‘ hi I’m really the girl next door’ should your actual neighbors catch a glimpse.
I have a portfolio and I’m absolutely real. I am very protective about my identity however and I am a professional model or was…not sure anymore what I’m doing because I am a local biz owner now but frequently I traveled all over the country. So don’t let it discourage you. I think you are going to get a lot of model/entertainer types on here who have been in the biz and have portfolio pix available looking to make some extra cash and meet upscale gentlemen. They even have a celebrity section here but I don’t think it’s been implemented.
I don’t mind seeing profile pics on here that are professional it brings up conversation if its actually you. But what makes me discouraged and end up cancelling is if the girl isn’t willing to send a simple cheesy pic from her phone before the date, I mean usually the first thing I get out of the way when talking to someone on here is the picture I usually just ask would you like a more recent pic of me? because mine is slightly old. And it goes from there…the only girl I ran into so far that didn’t want to send a picture is one that only wanted quick money anyway so I skipped her and moved onto the next one.
But I don’t blame you Blue that would be a bit embarrasing if your neighbor hit you up with an offer.
Haha Yeah I have ran into two different neighbors while I was out with a guy from here! …a little different scenario but nothing surprises me anymore.
I didn’t realize women actually send their cell number or photos. I just wrote about this above. Maybe they don’t know why you are asking and think they need to impress you with a beautiful photo or risk losing you. I have that feeling as well.
I never ask men for a second photo. When guys send me all kinds of pix or with their children I think they are too naive’ and what if they think it’s okay to send out my pix if they have no sense of privacy on the internet. This is how you end up in the papers like Anthony Weiner. They don’t know who I am especially if they hold a prominent position. I see photographers I know posing as sugar daddy’s on these sites collecting photos of women. Not sure what they get out of it, if it’s money or just a weird hobby but I”ve heard them brag about it too. It’s an unfortunate aspect of online dating so I think on a site where you are dealing with money being exchanged it’s always best to be cautious so it doesn’t come back to haunt you.
I know it’s a little inconvenient to meet and possibly be disappointed. You could always change your mind when you meet before giving them money but I guess even if the person is everything they say they are, we could still not be each others type or not have a fun time. That’s why I always get my money upfront as well. If I get caught with an obnoxious or offensive guy, or who thinks I should wait till he’s done with me to get paid. I don’t have to worry about being ripped off. So far everything has worked out for me and I have several continuing friendships through here despite my cautiousness some people appreciate it because they know I will not “out” them either intentionally or accidently.
I agree that privacy is important. It is obviously very hard to maintain privacy online to any degree. So far, so good for me as your blogger and dating expert. There are many photos of me but I have never had any misused. That said, I still control the photos that are out there, and do not allow any that would be considered more than sexy to on the web or in anyone hands at all. It is also important to not write or publish things that could come back to bite you later. I write in many styles for my career and would not like photos to detract from other work. iphone photos are pretty much out.. even the professional ones never really sum up the spirit of a person which can only resonate in the eye of the photographer or from within.
I still think it is best to pay for the date upfront and to not play games. Have a good time, and make the choice to enjoy yourself. Frankly I’d love to hear some of the more daring adventures that go on your dates… details details!
I don’t know usually the cell phone thing and giving out numbers is because I’m a bit younger and usually only go on dates with girls in my age group. And usually end up staying away from the women that are highly professional as you sound Blue mostly because I’m a veteran basically starting life over again at square one something you professional girls aren’t very impressed by. The Anthony Weiner thing well I don’t worry about that I just send a more recent pic just in case and its never lude and nude and what not.
But I do like your idea of meeting up for coffee first in fact I’ve suggested that before and always get shot down for the idea. And another thing too that I’ve noticed is that from the age ranges of 18 to right around 21 or 22 the girls are full of games to begin with, and the ones older then that are alot more to the point and more trustworthy about certain things like their pictures.
Ok, I’ll give you that. the younger women are young! They are kids, someone’s daughters and I must say at that age boys do not know how to care for a girls sensitive nature. Young men and women both have had their hearts stomped on often times by then and it’s going to take some time to heal or they will continue in life being hardened by it and never learn to love.
Now I’m at the age I can date older men and don’t get mistreated so I am able to be a better person and have more to offer.
Don’t worry Tyler nice women are impressed by gentlemen who are honest and not afraid to take chances. I know women can be mean sometimes so can all people, communicating is important and not wasting time with negative people so you can remain open to the positive ones.
Yeah I’m always honest about whats going on in my life just usually get a little intimidated by the professional type girls just because of where I am at life. I’ve screwed up a few times with girls that were already heading somewhere in life in the past few months and most of it was me being insecure with my position in life. I guess that’s a trait a lot of us guys share though is being insecure about where we are in life and not just rolling with it and letting the girl decide if she appreciates the honesty of us just coming out and laying it out there. I mean its not that I’m poor or anything, definitely make enough just being in school and such to be happy and have money to spend to go out and everything. Its just alot of times when you tell a girl yeah I’m back to being a student they tend to ignore you after that. But I guess if that’s the case I didn’t need to know the person anyway, so I know I know I’ll meet the right one someday just be nice to be given the benefit of the doubt at times, may be young as far as age goes but been through more then most have in a lifetime so I definitely not one of the young game players you girls are always complaining about on here.
FInding the right one is difficult for almost everyone. You are not alone.
I see a few women that have the note “Premium” next to their name. Premium is the designation for a person who purchases the most expensive credit plan on here. Why would a woman ever do that since it’s the guy that has to purchase the credits to message a woman.
Something doesn’t seem right about that.
You think we are privy to anything? my friend paid premium without knowing she could join for free. Maybe women think it will increase their visibility or show they are real. Who knows! But I didn’t know you guys had to buy credits and all that until I read the blog for weeks.
I always thought it meant they only want contact with “premium” members, to cut down on the larking school boys who hit them up. No?
Some of the girls are fake, to be sure. And I suspect, though I’d rather not believe, that the site proprietors are complicit, if not by commission than omission. I had two girls whose profiles were deleted from the site after they had agreed to dates and, of course, after I had paid up credits to dialogue with them. I submitted an inquiry 3 weeks ago on the topic, and haven’t heard word one back. This site will be short lived with those business practices. Too bad, cuz it’s got potential. Or maybe that’s good. I’ll just start up where they crashed and do it the right way. More money for me.
This site does have issues I ran into a group of underage girls in my area that are using this site as their summertime job. I reported it and their profiles are still up and no email response back from the site. Which is sad because they had knowledge of it from me so if lord forbid they get a date with a creep and something happens well pretty sure this site will get killed in the crossfire.
Never mind I did get a response from their staff about those two underage girls…they said the profiles were deleted…and guess what…they weren’t deleted.
Nothing to stop you now, Oliver. This isn’t a new idea at all, it’s pretty much an online version of “Telekura” in Japan, telephone clubs for “compensated dating”, so it’s not like you’d be stepping on Patent Pending toes. Compensated dating is very old over there, though it’s a euphemism for prostitution, interestingly enough, and apropos this article I assume. The answer to the question is a paid date an obligated date depends entirely on the culture, in other words. In Japan it is; here, where the concept is new and where the proprietors are setting up a profitable niche they want to differentiate from “Escorts” by way of crafting an etiquette, the answer is ambiguous and depends on the user, his or her reasons for using the service. There’s bound to be conflicts, it’s inevitable. Can’t expect the proprietors to police everything.
Which leads to @Tyler: I agree it is not good there are under-aged (I’ve not seen any personally, but then how would one prove it anyway?) on the site, but free sites like craigslist (well, before they became all spam…) can’t and don’t screen either. Why should WYP be held more accountable?
King, your answer, though informative and eloquent, addresses everything but my point: if you invite user inquiries and grievances, then at least respond to the legitimate ones, lest you leave us open to draw our own, necessarily negative, conclusions.
I hear you, Oliver. I wasn’t really trying to answer or give reason for not dealing with a legitimate issue, in fact I agree with you. My point to you was that perhaps it could be done better, that there are a lot of complications involved, but nothing prevents you from using the model. The other stuff about Japan was simply in reply to the article, though the segway might not have been clear enough.
Craigslist is craigslist and we all know how that fell apart around them, and for the same reason…how I found out is I actually went on a date with the girls older sister after the fact and they lived in the same town and I was like so this awkward but you know so and so…it was good for a few laughs but I felt extremely violated. I mean I’m pretty sure somewhere on the sign up theres a little box you have to check saying your 18 and over. Maybe a good way is make the women pay to use email as well that way a credit card would have to be used.
Needless to say its been reported and their profiles are still up, and so WYP has been forewarned and the ball is in their park to take care of it. They claim they deleted the profiles but no profile was removed, so now they’re liable. So Oliver’s point is more then relevant WYP does not care about the customer…as long as the cash is rolling they’re cool with everything even prostitution and minors using the site.
Ha…that does sound a bit awkward…
Kids are always violating those checks, though. I don’t know how other sites verify age legitimately. I buy wine from an on-line seller and they just require a card and a hand on the heart, the only thing keeping the under 18′s away is probably price and the product; what kid under 18 would want a case of Malbec or Pinot Noir?
Tyler, did you send specifics through the contact us area? That would be wonderful. Thank you.
As someone who has been doing this for many years and has agents in Japan, I can attest to the fact that it is not a euphemism for prostitution. I now plenty of women coast to coast and around the world who are routinely horrified that people expect sex from them when they have explicitly expressed that they are NOT offering sex. You can say we are naive and grasping at straws or perhaps it is the ignorance of the American people who simply find it easier to lump all women into one negative category and make blanket statements rather than see them as individuals carving a niche’ for themselves.
oops! ” know ” this is what happens when I don’t where my glasses.
wtf “wear” . I need to take a break and eat something too!
As someone who speaks Japanese and has personally lived there for more than a decade, 援助交際 or Enjo-kōsai, means compensated-dating (look it up if you don’t believe it.) It refers to men giving gifts and/or money in exchange for, most often, sex (usually to young girls, but in general as well.) In Japan it is in fact another word for that prostitution, or the act of doing it.
Or rather, I should qualify that; it’s use in the milieu of telekura phone clubs indicates a sexual exchange, just as Soapland doesn’t really mean just bathing. In the general public it isn’t a guarantee of sex, just as Host Clubs for women don’t mean guaranteed sex for women, but it frequently is an expectation (more so than host clubs), again based on the parties involved and money spent. But being as how prostitution in Japan is strictly defined as vaginal intercourse for money, all else not being specifically illegal (hj, bj, frottage, even anal sex), it would depend even within the culture what the phrase means. Or as Bill Clinton said, It depends on what the definition of ‘is’ is…
Oh shock oh my! I had no idea! You mean prostitution actually exists all over the world? LOL Thank you Captain Obvious. Maybe you would be more shocked to learn, or perhaps challenged to open your mind that as someone who has the same japanese clients for many years who have never gotten sex or anything sexual from me, who knows many women for many years with the same experiences… I can attest to the fact that while prostitution exist in all countries, what I said still stands. Your useless and graphic comments do not negate the existence of alternate lifestyles. What you are saying is like insisting that all BDSM participants have sex which most people have grown to accept simply isn’t true. It is well known.
Something that is maybe lesser known is many Asian men and women find it a status symbol to have high paid arm candy. Period. They do not want sex. It would interfere with there families and beliefs. Arm candy exists all over the world too!
Your comment should be moderated out.
I would have to agree with Blue in the note that arm candy is arm candy and it is paid for all over the world. Frankly, time is money and we all know that. The amount of time we spend with people is an investment. It can have emotional content, sexual content or purely intellectual content. The direction it goes whether it is friendship, serious relationship, or marriage is also an unknown but often, people are willing to support the ‘idea’ of potential even if it is not possible (because they are married or otherwise engaged). People (particularly the ones who know time is money unearned) understand that when you spend time with them, it is time not spent working, supporting your family or getting into a serious relationships where finances are merged. It is for this reason that WhatsYourPrice makes a lot of sense. Navigating this new perspective on dating and understanding this for what it is (not some twisted way of thinking) is where I see people running into challenges. Dating takes time. It demands emotional, physical and financial resources. Companionship, understanding and compassion are more valuable commodities than sex. It seems evident that is one of the reasons people are interested in using whatsyourprice.com vs. taking the easy route on a street corner is because it offers more.
There is no set tract for humans. They are willing to create all sorts of lifestyles to accommodate their specific situation and needs. Some of them outrageous others mundane depending on your perspective. This is your opportunity to make like-minded people and make it work.
no comment.
Oliver, would you mind rephrasing the question you had about credits I think it was? That would be helpful and we would be happy to see how to improve. Your feedback is always appreciated.
What do you do if you arrange a date and they don’t show? I have had a couple of dates that didn’t even bother to send me a message and just let me waste my time. Luckily I didn’t go ahead booking anything as I knew something was not right. The attitude of Irish girls have been a disgrace, at least the English women have had manners. I am concerned though if I set something up and then I am left counting the cost.
I was really gung ho about this site when I first started because it’s a great idea, but now my opinion of it is going down the drain.
The major Achilles heel of the site is it’s impossible to tell by the way the options are set up whether the woman you will date wants only an SD/SB relationship, a genuine relationship, or both. It’s impossible to tell. You have to actually go on the first date which costs money in several aspects.
Therefore, all the power has been transferred to the woman. There is no fairness at all, even though you’re paying money, because you are never on solid ground. “You’re in suspension” as a famous Sex Pistols song states. She can string you along and make you think either way and that’s very dangerous if the woman is deceitful. If I knew on the first date that a woman solely wanted SD/SB, that would be fine. But the options are lumped together, so a guy looking for genuine relationships can get hooked in and really get duped and hurt thinking he has a chance at something other than SD/SB or mere prostitution. I think it’s dangerous for the woman too if the guy is a nutcase.
So if you’re looking to use this site to get your foot in the door towards genuine dating, as the owner seems to purport, I would think twice. Unless of course you can take dating a cloud.
don’t attach too much significance to the labels, in either direction. every single girl on this site (and off, for that matter) is open to a genuine long term commitment if their prince charming walks in.
lol! finally women have some power & you are complaining.see how bad it feels?
Cmon, women have always had the power. Society, mainly men, make them think they don’t.
If every woman got an education like Lou Salome, all men would be under their thumb. And maybe we wouldn’t have so many wars. Instead, we get Glamour and Vogue.
Ralph, although it is disappointing, just know that it is not something specific to this site. People pull no-shows all the time, although I have never understood that behavior. The best thing to do is get a number, confirm the date the same day and make sure the location is very clear.
Bobby~ i think it depends on the chemistry as all people are different ~so one guy might be a good sugar daddy yet another could be real boyfriend material!
For me it would be nice to have the boyfriend experience with the sugar daddy benefits that can turn into long term boyfriend material and chemistry and respect would create the platform for that .. All in that order:)
I agree. Although I’m a little confused by Bobby’s comment. They are clearly marked for us to check off. I guess you will have to go on the date to find out just what type of chemistry you have with each other.
The other thing is I feel like I never know with these guys what they are looking for quite honestly!
No matter what they want they almost always include the potential for more and I think that’s partly due to casting too wide of a net.
Yes that’s true, but you haven’t responded to the issue. Let’s imagine the tables are turned. I feel I can make money off you by including in my profile using the “interested in” buttons for all the categories, short-term, long-term, SB/SD, etc because I can get a greater market share.
Let’s also imagine I’ve had a rough life and am poor and have no problem trying to get as much money off you as I can, which is a position some of these women are actually in. I could string you along pretending there’s possibility, but I want payment every date. You wouldn’t want to want to ask me right away what I’m looking for because you fear offending me and you’ve already paid $10 just for a contact. Since the options hide what the true intentions may be, such as SD/SB, a lot of guys on here could be taken for really rude loops. That’s why the Seeking Arrangements websites is better, because it’s clear cut. Here, there is a lot of ambiguity, which lends itself to advantage of unscrupulous people. In fact, one of the dates I had told me about this.
As for the article on obligated dates. If I ever learned a woman felt obligated to have sex with me, that would fill me with such incredible sorrow because that woman has absolutely no self esteem. Who knows what her past experiences have been with men, especially her father. I don’t care how much money I’ve paid her to have a date or how nice a meal we’ve had, if that was not her genuine desire, but rather societal obligation, I find that tragic. Unfortunately, there are women like that.
I’m not making judgement about open prostitution where there is an understanding. In fact in Las Vegas, there was an excellent article in the City Paper on a woman lobbying to legalize the sex industry. She was very secure with herself and her arguments were very good.
But the women cited in this article, I think it’s a tragedy.
I see no problem with paying for a first date. Essentially a gentleman will pay at least $200 (or more if they are generous and/or are seriously interested in the lady), for dinner, a movie and other activities (i.e., a visit to the art museum, a romantic ferry boat ride, etc.).
If a beautiful, confident woman feels she is deserving of being compensated for her time (I feel I am, as I am a model and as a model I am ALWAYS compensated for my time), and a man feels she is worth it, then why not?
As far as being obligated to attend a paid date, I feel it is somewhat an obligation. Now if there is no chemistry during the date, the half upfront that was paid is a no-brainer; it should remain with the lady for obvious reasons (the lady took the time to prepare for the date and the gentleman made his initial offer knowing what may or may not transpire in regards to chemistry), however the remaining half of the offer should be negated, as there was no chemistry and there would be no second date. But that’s just one scenario. There are so many scenarios that could occur.
This in no way (in my own opinion), makes the lady lacking in self esteem; if it does, then what does that say about the GENTLEMAN PAYING FOR THE FIRST DATE? I would find it sexist to state that of the two parties involved, only the lady lacks self-worth but not the gentleman. That is absurd, illogical, contradictory and puerile, in addition to sexist and supercilious thinking, I believe.
I am extremely confident and know my valuable self-worth. I am not only an attractive model, I have two university degrees and am a surgical nurse and I.T. professional. Hardly a gold-digger or lacking in any self-esteem or intelligence. However, if I have the opportunity to be paid for a first date, as is done for charity, I don’t find anything wrong with it.
Those are just my thoughts. We can debate all day over it, so long as we debate using intelligence rather than personal attacks. But we are all entitled to our own opinions.
I agree with you that there is no problem at all paying for a first date.
Are you talking about this quote in the article? This is what I was talking about. What are your thoughts on this?
“I found yet another recent study about dating. More specifically, this one is about the cost of the date and its correlation to the sense of obligation regarding sex.”
outside the pages of post grad humanities textbooks, it’s neither tragic nor daddy’s fault nor a commentary on self esteem. i suspect that sexual reciprocation crosses the mind of every single girl that goes on an expensive date, along with feelings of gratitude, love, lust, indebtedness, and all that other stuff that comes with being human. some say thank you and good night. others say thank you and good morning. some for complex reasons. others for no reason at all. in the lab of life, it’s human nature and hardly high drama, let alone the stuff of tragedy.
Thank you– I love your very lady-like style:
As far as being obligated to attend a paid date, I feel it is somewhat an obligation. Now if there is no chemistry during the date, the half upfront that was paid is a no-brainer; it should remain with the lady for obvious reasons (the lady took the time to prepare for the date and the gentleman made his initial offer knowing what may or may not transpire in regards to chemistry), however the remaining half of the offer should be negated, as there was no chemistry and there would be no second date.
I think this is good and respectful and stops the usury aspect that causes hard feelings.
Thanks
For the public record, within 24 hours of my posting above, my grievance was addressed by the site and handled to my total satisfaction. I will continue to use, and advocate, this site, without designs on building a better mouse trap; this one is evolving well on its own. There’s clearly a big brain, and I suspect a good person, behind this in Brendon.
For my two cents (I’m not offering my opinion as a lawyer) on issues raised by others above, the site has no obligation to take down beautiful profiles at the request of generous users, whether the request stems from concerns about age based on information, belief or both. site has no more reason to believe generous than beautiful, and i would argue must give beautiful the benefit of the doubt. even in our beautiful post modern progressive utopia, some responsibility remains with users. the site is a service provider, not a guarantor.
I agree. I think it’s a good site. It just has some wrinkles.
Thank you Oliver. Very well put.. the lawyer in you just rose to the challenge. The idea here is to find out what you would like to see on the site, what would help you have more fun and meaningful dates, how to communicate more effectively so you get a second date.. what ever it is, please let’s encourage people to say what they would like.
Are wives obligated to have sex with their husbands?
Just curious on what grounds was my comment moderated out? It was completely innocuous in comparison to many others I have made here.
Blue, I’m not sure which one it was, if it was important you can continue with the topic, otherwise, would love to hear about some of your best first dates. Thanks for your ongoing support and insight!
No biggie maybe it was a glitch.
Thanks for your support Zorah on some of my previous posts.
You had mentioned this before, and to tell you the truth, the best ones were the ones who paid me the most. Otherwise it’s just another dinner with some guy I don’t know. I’d rather be with people I know and love but that’s a personal topic. They have been very nice men here who I am still on good terms with though.
Being a model it’s not unusual for me to meet guys in real life and give me what I would make on the set which runs into thousands just for dinner.
The best thing is learning about the world from the men who create it. Helps me understand life and the world we live in.
No biggie maybe it was a glitch.
Thanks for your support Zorah on some of my previous posts.
You had mentioned this before, and to tell you the truth, the best ones were the ones who paid me the most. Otherwise it’s just another dinner with some guy I don’t know. I’d rather be with people I know and love but that’s a personal topic. They have been very nice men here who I am still on good terms with though.
Being a model it’s not unusual for me to meet guys in real life and give me what I would make on the set which runs into thousands just for dinner.
The best thing is learning about the world from the men who create it. Helps me understand life and the world we live in.
I would like to say that only one young man on this site was romantic. I wish guys would at least try to be a nice guy and at least flirt. Have internet guys lost that loving feeling? If your paying you should at least put some effort in?
hey queen, I did the most romantic date ever. i don’t want to say what i did. it was quite simple. i don’t think i’ve ever had a girl kiss that passionately in my life. I possibly could have gone further, but I’m a fool for beauty of the moment and i wasn’t going to let any awkwardness spoil it. maybe i’m just not a modern aged type of guy. it was the most fun series of dates i’ve ever had and the last one was free. so it can happen.
I do not mean intimacy.. i just mean some of the dates are strange like a job interview with zero romance other than you look great then subject goes to ex wives the kids and other boring convo. It seems like ground hogs day sometimes.
I had a date tonight and i asked him for a kiss. ~ getting my flirt on at least! I know your not suppose to ask but it worked!
I am not sure how I feel about doing this, but like some of you I have been on other sights and have had no luck so far. There are a lot of loser sights out there and I hope this one proves to be different then the rest of them.
I do feel paid dates are obligations. I think once to have accepted or made an offer that is sealing it. I also feel alot of the generous users do not know what it means to use this site. When they make an offer or ask your price and then accept it, they should take their choice to contact you or accept your offer seriously instead of waiting over a week to contact you or leaving it all to you to set up the plans. I have run across that 4 times already in my first month of using the site. If your too busy then perhaps you should find someone who’s looking for a one night stand. Yes I patient, but let me know after making an offer that you will get back later in the week.
Hello there everyone. I just finish my profile information, and I thought why not join this discussion. About the picture thing I won’t post one mainly because as a young college student with a life outside of this website I have lots to lose. Having a picture of myself on a website like this can have extreme consequences especially with my career path. I guess the guy would have to trust me and take his chance. I’m actually a model and I have never heard any complaints about my looks, so he can either take my words for it or kick rocks. Also it is an obligation for him to pay for the date because that is the agreement before hands.
Paid dates are only obligations for time, nothing else.
Are paid massages obligations for anything besides a massage?
Are paid haircuts an obligation?
Is the McDonald’s girl obligated?
c’mon