As you visit the blog today, you will notice something different. Yes, there is a new banner on the right side of the WhatsYourPrice.com blog, with a real quote from one of our members who wrote to us on our Facebook page:
“I’ve come to realize men seem to put more value on and have more respect for the things they have to pay a lot of money for … nice cars, the latest golf clubs, expensive watches …… It’s nice to finally find a site where we know men value the effort we make and will reward us for doing so!”
The quote appears to have captured what I feel is happening to most of us in this “take it for granted” world we live in today. We seem to only treasure something when we have worked extremely hard for it, or have paid an extremely high price to obtain it. And when it comes to human relationships, this bit of wisdom holds true with great impact. I have certainly taken a lot of things for granted early on in my life. I also have my share of regrets from the numerous failed relationships where I had taken the other party for granted.
While I am extremely encouraged by such user feedback which helps rationalize why WhatsYourPrice.com is a good dating model in so many ways, I am equally concerned by some negative experiences members have been reporting to us. An example came from a female member who was ready to give up last week when she encountered a man who did not seem to understand the part of our website etiquette which says “you can’t expect sex on the first date”.
Another example is a generous member who was upset a female member had agreed to a $40 date, but after paying to unlock the conversation with her, she unkindly told him in email she was really expecting $200, even though she had accepted a $40 date! Yet, we have also heard from attractive members about their awkward experiences with generous members who didn’t pay without having to be asked.
To reduce such confusion and incidents, perhaps it’s time to lay down a few WhatsYourPrice “Dating Etiquette” or ground rules:
(1) Do Not expect Sex on the First Date
Despite what the press or media may claim, remember, this is not a website for Escorts. So when you are making or accepting an offer, you cannot expect sex on the first date! To accept an offer, and then to write asking if you will be having “dessert” afterwards is not only crude and rude, but it will most likely not get you laid. Rather you may be blocked by the other user, or even worse reported for violating the code of conduct.
Tip: Remember to look closely at a user’s profile. If a member does not state that s/he is interested in a “Casual / Intimate Encounter” or “Discreet Affair”, it is safe to assume you will not get laid on the first date! Even if a member does state s/he is interested in a “Casual / Intimate Encounter” or “Discreet Affair”, it is still a bad idea to assume you will get laid even if there is chemistry.
If you are unfamiliar with the art of seduction, perhaps it is time for you to buy a book and learn the art. The trick to making a woman really want you isn’t for you to be pushy. Instead, make her interested in you, and let her lead with her body language. If you learn the game well, you will soon realize you don’t have to “expect” sex, rather sex will “expect” you.
(2) Pay without having to be asked
This one is for the Generous members. If you are uncomfortable with being generous, then you should not use WhatsYourPrice.com. Remember, how you handle money is going to say a lot about who you are and how confident you are. If you hand over the money immediately when you meet your attractive date, chances are s/he will feel grateful for your grace, and for the fact you didn’t make him or her ask. It shows you are a cut above the rest.
The initial dating process is very superficial, so it is better to do away with the superficial money exchange up front before the other person gets to know you better. Exchanging money after you have a deeper and more meaningful connection with that person is not only awkward, but it will likely reflect negatively on you.
Tip: If you want to impress your date even more, don’t just hand over the money. Try handing the money in a creative way, e.g., in a nice envelop, or accompanied by some flowers, a card or a teddy bear.
(3) Honor your agreement
Once you have agreed on the amount (or price) for the date. Don’t wiggle yourself out of it by asking for less or more afterwards. There is no class in agreeing to something, then backing out of it. While the media may ridicule the moral judgement of those who use WhatsYourPrice, I happen to think WhatsYourPrice users are usually a cut above the average Joe or Jane. As members of this community, we begin each relationship with an agreement which we must honor.
If you believe all relationships are based on trust, then the WhatsYourPrice.com process starts with trusting that once a price is agreed to, it is kept. So, if you agree to a date, be sure to show up and be sure you don’t change your price.
(4) Be honest in your profile and in person
The final, and I believe the most important code of conduct is to be honest. Be honest with yourself about who you are and what you are looking for. Reflect your honesty in your profile by uploading a real and current picture of yourself, and by filling out information accurately. Don’t claim you are single if you are in fact married. Don’t say you are looking for long term commitment when all you want is to get laid. By being honest, you will end up attracting only the people who are interested in you and vice versa. This will help you save a lot of time and money, and potentially avoid a lot of unnecessary drama down the road.
I will end this blog post with a quote and video clip from Dr. Darcy Smith, a licensed Psychologist from New York City: “One of the new elements introduced by WhatsYourPrice.com is honesty”.
Are there any other WhatsYourPrice “Dating Etiquette” you would suggest?
What are some of the positive and negative experiences you have had on the site?